


Born of Eros

by DungeonJukebox



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Caretaking, Dependent, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, One Shot, Trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15851178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DungeonJukebox/pseuds/DungeonJukebox
Summary: Waking up to the embrace of a loved one.





	Born of Eros

**Author's Note:**

> Philia (John)
> 
> Affectionate Love:  
> Relationship associated with companionship, dependability, and trust on the basis of openness, articulacy, and insight both to change and be changed.

The morning sun shone brightly through the windows of the bedroom. Though the curtains were drawn, they did little to try and block the summer light. I slowly woke from my slumber to the peaceful sound of silence, with nothing around for miles to disturb the quiet; at least I hope that nothing would break the silence. The soft sheets of the bed caress my sleepy body so softly that I fear I may be pulled back to sleep once more. Nevertheless, I lay awake for a few short moments, just to feel the comfort that I had been deprived of for a couple of short months prior. 

The only thing that reminded me that I was not alone was the warm breath against the back of my neck, the firm chest pressed up behind me, and the tattooed arm that was wrapped loosely around my waist. Trying hard not to wake my sleeping companion up I attempt to unwind their arm from myself and move to rise off the bed. As soon as I went to move, however, the tattooed arm wound tightly around me and pulled me back down into the mattress, pressing me flush against the body behind me. A small chuckle emanated from the assailant that I shared the bed with as it reverberated throughout their chest. I could not help but smile myself while trying to sustain a small giggle that threatened to escape my lips.

“Don’t go,” John’s sleepy voice uttered huskily as he pressed a small kiss to my neck.

“But I-” my sentence was cut off when John’s arm tightened once more around me, aiming to hold me down should I try and move again.

“Don’t,” he growled, burying his head in the crook of my neck, “stay,” his breath sent pleasant shivers down my spine and I had no choice by to listen to him.

The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and the steady breaths that fell against my face lulled me into a relaxed state, one that seems to only happen while we are alone together like this. These special moments where we can forget about everything that has happened - that is happening - and just simply enjoy each other’s presence, however long that they may last.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” John mumbled into my ear as he started to draw light circles through the fabric of my pyjama shirt across my stomach.

“Nothing,” I mumbled as I move my hand up to grasp at his and our fingers intertwine.

“Impossible,” he responds, moving our bodies so that I was now laying on my back as he leaned over me, holding himself up on his left forearm as his right hand came up to push strands of hair away from my face and caress my cheek tenderly. His piercing blue eyes stared down into my own as if he were searching for a proper answer that I was not providing to his question. He smiled lazily down at me as he lifted his hand away from my face and moved it down to lightly trace along my neck and collarbone. “You’re always thinking about something,” he informed me then as if it were common knowledge. He was always so confident that he knew me so well, yet when he underestimates or even misinterprets something about me, he becomes quite baffled. It is quite endearing in a way.

“I don’t always have to be thinking about something,” I start explaining, “I need to give my mind a rest once in a while,” I finish. 

For a minute we just stare into each other’s eyes and I could see in his a hint of annoyance as his mind was working before they softened once more and he chuckled. He leans down slowly as he brings his lips near mine, though they don’t fully touch, and nearly brush against each other. He is hesitant, and I could tell that he desperately wants to crash his lips against mine in a bruising and passionate kiss as he has done at least a few times before, yet he waits for me to meet his affection. He knows that if he moves too fast that I’ll become frightened and distance myself, that too much intimacy makes me nervous, and knowing that despite what his urges tell him to do he doesn’t want to scare me like he has done so before. The patience he shows for me now makes me very appreciative of him.

I bring my hands up towards his face and run them along the sides, feeling his beard beneath my fingertips, before tilting my head up ever so slightly so that our lips finally brush against each other. However, before John can fully capture my lips, I pull back once more and teasingly bite my bottom lip. A puff of hot breath brushes over my face as John huff’s in frustration. The irritant look on his face grows as I giggle at his disappointment.

“You’re an atrocious woman,” he berated.

“You’re a gullible man,” I quipped with a mocking smile. Before he could pull away from me, however, I hold his face firmly in my hands and lean up once more to lightly brush our lips again before claiming his in a swift and chaste kiss. When I am about to relax back into the pillows, John’s hand sneak its way to the back of my head, bringing me back gently to him once more.

“Don’t tease me, little lamb,” he warned playfully before he pressed his lips to mine without warning, which resulted in me gasping in surprise granting his tongue access to my mouth, and my tongue danced along together with his. I should have expected this from him though, for he was not a patient man, yet I was not mad at him either as I let him deepen the kiss as my arms wound around the back of his neck.

While the kiss was rather heated, his lips were soft, and the feel of them against mine sent enjoyable pulses of ecstasy throughout my body. John then lightly sucked on my bottom lip, before pressuring it with a gentle bite, which in turn caused me to whimper. He quickly licked my bottom lip and pressed a quick kiss to it in a show of apology. 

John started to trail kisses down my cheek and towards my neck. The brush of his lips against my sensitive skin made me sigh happily as I dug my fingers through his mussed up hair and tugged slightly. John moaned lowly in response as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my collarbone. I was too caught up in the pleasure, however, that I had not realised John’s hand moving to the hem of my shirt. He pushed it up as his warm hand caressed the bare skin of my hip and moved its way up past my waist over my ribcage.

“John,” I whimpered, pulling my hands away from his hair as my left hand came down to push his hand away, while my right hand pushed against his shoulder. “Stop…” I tried to order him, and although I couldn’t get the right words out, John knew what I had meant, quickly pulling away from me and his hand away from underneath my shirt.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked, pure concern drenching his voice, and I could see a hint of panic in his eyes. “Did I hurt you?” The panic in his voice made my heart clench and I reached my hand up to his face once more to try and soothe him.

“N-no I just… it was unexpected, that’s all,” I start hesitantly though he didn’t seem too convinced as he did not seem to calm in the slightest. “You did nothing wrong,” I tried to assure him, lightly stroking his face. I smiled sadly at him when he sighed heavily in response, leaning into my touch and bringing his hand up to envelop mine.

“I’m trying,” he simply said.

“I know,” I answer, “I’m trying too,” I add.

I already got quite nervous when people would touch me, he knew this too, and it took a great amount of effort on his part to get me comfortable around him and allow these moments of intimacy. Although, after everything that I had experienced at his hands, it was difficult sometimes to let him hold me as affectionately as he was holding me now.

Then there were times when his temper would quickly get out of control, and in those volatile moments I felt vulnerable and knew not what he might do to me, and like a cornered animal I would lash out in retaliation. Though this had not happened in a while, at least, not until after he brought me to live with him at his ranch. He was trying – indeed he was – to build up trust between us, and he knew that I was trying to trust him too… we just needed time.

“You’re so good to me,” he whispered, pressing a kiss into the palm of my hand.

“You are good to me too. At least when you aren’t trying to make me confess my sins,” I reply in a playful tone, trying to lighten the mood, and it did seem to work when he looked down at me with a mischievous smirk that only he could pull off. 

His blue irises seemed to burn with desire before saying, “you will say yes to me, little lamb.” He then lay down on the pillow next to me and I turned to face him.

“One day… maybe,” I teased playfully in which John only chuckled.

“I can wait,” he breathed, watching the locks of my hair he was playing with fall from his fingertips.

“John Seed playing the role of a patient man? Impossible,” I ridiculed with a short laugh which he returned with a charming smile.

I moved to be closer to him and he wound his left arm around me as I laid my head in the crook of his neck. My left hand was splayed out against his scarred chest, feeling the warmth there, as I felt his steady heartbeat. The stable rhythm made me feel calm, the sudden rise and fall of his chest as John heaved out a sigh brought a smile to my face, knowing that he too was feeling content.

As our relationship had improved, we grew more comfortable with each other, and it made me feel delighted to see John becoming more relaxed the longer I was around. Likewise, I’m sure he felt the same way about how relaxed he made me feel. Although, we did still have a long way to go to build up trust between the two of us, being together like this was certainly a start.

The day that I had first come first to face with John still haunted me, however. How my lungs burned from the lack of air as I was held underwater by the cultists during my ‘baptism’. The look of disgust in John’s eyes, declaring that I was unclean, and the way his hands roughly grabbed me and pushed me back down beneath the surface. I had barely enough to hold my breath, barely taking a lung full of water, before he pulled me up once more. I was afraid he would have drowned me that night.

Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t realised that I had started to absentmindedly trace along the slashed out wording of ‘sloth’ carved across John's chest. It wasn’t until his tattooed hand gently touched my own that I mentally broke myself out of my reverie and watched as smooth fingertips traced along the back of my hand.

“You were thinking about something again,” John purred in a sing-song voice, silky and smooth that made me weak around him whenever he spoke with his honeyed words. I would sometimes curse him and his silver tongue. His hand left mine to lift my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eyes, full of smug allure. “Won’t you tell me what’s on your mind, my little lamb?” I scoffed at him then, all in a joyful act of course, as I pushed myself away from him and sat up to get out of the bed. “Not so fast my dear,” I heard him say as he followed after me and caged his arms around me and pulled me against him, “not until you confess,” he all but hissed into my ear.

“No,” I all but giggled as I easily escaped his grasp. I quickly got off the bed before he could attempt to reach for me again and headed for the ensuite. John got up and tried to quickly follow, but with a firm hand against his chest, I prevented him from following further. “Have you no understanding of the meaning of privacy?” I questioned with a smirk.

“You may need some help in there sweetheart,” John retaliated, his eyes gleaming with mischief, “you know you're helpless without me,” he added with a sly grin. It didn’t take a genius, however, to figure out what he was up to. So, with one solid push, John stumbled back from the entrance to the ensuite.

“I think I can at least manage without you for a few minutes,” I laugh and catch a glimpse of his pouting face before closing the door on him.

“Don’t be too long my dear, I have a very special day planned for just the two of us, after all,” I heard him announce on the other side of the door. The sounds of his footsteps walking away had me breathing a sigh of relief.

I was aware that I had not told him what had been on my mind, and it was clear that he knew something must have been occupying it, he was not always wrong about my mannerisms. I just could not bring myself to inform my outlook of how he used to be, and even still, of how I sometimes perceive him now. I do cherish the man, however, and I know that he feels the same level of affection for me too. Being rather conscious of what he has done prior to our blossoming relationship, I cannot bring myself to discuss these troubling thoughts with him, lest he becomes displeased. Then again if I conceal these thoughts from him I fear that I may end up hurting him, at least, worse than I had previously. 

It was hard at times, conveying my precious secrets to this man, yet he is good at what he does and always finds a way to get what he wants. His confidence and bravado were perhaps why I had begun to grow more intrigued with his persona. Yet I had to remind myself that, underneath his perfect disguise, was a misunderstood man. And that is what he is, a man who had a rough life, and he needed me just as much as I needed him. It was just taking us a while to realise that. 

After taking a moment to compose myself I got to work on preparing for the day ahead, feeling curious as to what John has planned. The man was certainly full of surprises.

\-----------------------

“Well my dear, what do you think?” John asked expectantly, arms stretched out in a gesture to his plane, all sleeked in black and modified with a passenger seat rather than a gunner on the back like it used to.

I stared in bewilderment, unsure and at a loss for words as John stared back at me, my gaze shifting between him and his plane. When did he even find the time to have installed a passenger seat? I knew the man was indeed rich, his previous life as a lawyer was the reasoning for that, yet how and when did he organize this without me ever noticing?

I must have been staring in silence for far longer than John was comfortable with until he slowly approached me and took my hands in his. “Do you not like it?” he asked as if it were simply not possible that I was not gracious for this generous gift. It was all for me after all.

“Well… I mean… it’s certainly unexpected,” I stumbled through the sentence though John could sense the disbelief in my words. “It just seems a bit too much,” I said, finally looking into John’s eyes. He simply smiled as his grip on my hands tightened slightly as if to reassure me.

“When it comes to you, nothing is too much,” he declared then, as if it were no big deal to spend – probably thousands – on something as trivial as plane modifications, as he probably may have said it. Then again, nothing was out of reach for John Seed. Nothing was ever too much. If anything was evidence to this claim, then perhaps it was the Hollywood like sign of his favourite word ‘Yes’.

I cast my gaze back towards the plane… John’s plane. The sun beating down on the airstrip cast a nice shine over the polished AdjudiCor FBW. It was still a very stylish plane, sporting the symbol of Eden’s Gate on it. ‘Affirmation’ I had heard him inform me of the name of the plane before. It was supposed to be a statement he had said, and initially, I had thought it to be connected with his ‘The Power of Yes’ act. Though after spending so much time with him I felt as if there was more to it than that, some subconscious thought, for he was indeed a complex man after all. 

What was he affirming? His faith in the Project, perhaps that if a sinner like himself can atone then surely anyone else can, or even a way to intimidate those who do not believe? Or was it he who really needed affirmation himself, that no matter what, he just needed to know that he was appreciated and deserving of love?

“Well my dear, ready to fly? The sky is ours after all,” he said nonchalantly as he walked toward the plane, the ends of his long coat gently blowing as he walked, and it took me a moment to realise he was expecting me to follow after him.

“How about we try something else today,” I suggested in a timid voice as I remained a good few meters away from the plane. John quickly spun to face me, eyes narrowing as he stared back at me, with an accusatory glare which caused me to flinch somewhat.

“What do you mean?” I shifted uncomfortably on my feet at the harshness of his tone.

“What I mean is, the last few times I had to get into an aircraft, it did not end so well. I just don’t want to take any chances,” I explained pathetically. From the look in his eyes, burning with desperation, I knew that he was not going to let this slide. The way he saw it, I was getting in the plane with him, one way or another.

“There is nothing to fear,” he started, lowering his voice to a calm level, and flashing a charming grin. “You’re with me after all.”

“How can you be so sure?” I questioned. His face seemed to soften then, reaching his hand out to me, beckoning me to come to him.

“Because I won’t let anything happen to you… I promise, sweetheart,” he softly spoke, assuring me that I could trust him, and in a weird way I did.

Forgetting about all the potential negative outcomes, I make my way over to John, who is practically beaming as he helps me up into the passenger seat. He hands me my headset so that we could talk to each other during the flight and I slid the glass over the cockpit as John sat up in the pilot’s seat and did the same. A few moments later and John had the engine started as it rumbled to life and the propellers started to spin.

“Ready?” John asked optimistically. I was still nervous, but since there was no backing out of this now, I honestly had no choice. I believed in John.

“Ready,” I repeated, and not a moment later, John was driving the plane down the runway, picking up enough speed before the wheels left the ground and we were rising up into the sky.

I felt a rush of adrenaline surge through me as soon as we first took off and it felt as if my heart was about to pummel right through my ribcage as if it were some battering ram. It was only after reaching an acceptable altitude and levelling off did I unclench my fists that were turning white at the knuckles. 

It was only then that I realised how breathtaking the scenery was.

The vast expanse of farmland, the serene mountains surrounding the county, even the winding rivers rushing below and I can honestly say that I had never experienced something quite like this before. I admired every detail of the valley below us as John flew us over. Until now I had only ever experienced Hope County on the ground, yet it was nothing compared to this, flying through the cloudless sky. I felt like John and I were the only ones in the world right now, that while we were up here, there was nothing to worry about. No Cult, no resistance, no collapse. Just us and the sky, and I was starting to think that this was why he loved this so much and that he wanted to share this with me.

“What do you think my dear?” I heard John ask.

“I love it,” I simply said, not being able to say much else, “it’s absolutely amazing,” I finished, settling back into silence as John flew us by the mountains north of the ranch. I was too busy looking towards the south when I heard John hum in thought.

“Well, well… now, what do you suppose used to be here? Hmmm, my little lamb?” Confused I looked to where John was pointing and could see metal framing. Remnants of where his sign used to be, and I rolled my eyes, letting out a small chuckle before responding to his observation.

“Of course you would still be bloody upset over that, John Seed,” I quipped, stressing his name into a teasing tone.

“Sweetheart,” he started off with a low laugh, and to anyone else, it might have seemed to be threatening, yet I knew this was how he was. He was indeed quite the dramatic one. “Faithfull followers of the Project had worked so hard in building that; think about how they would have felt, discovering that all their hard work was destroyed simply overnight,” he informed.

“Well, when you put it that way, maybe I do feel a little terrible,” I said, feigning remorse, before continuing, “but it was worth the reaction I had gotten out of you. What was it you had promised, that you would make me rebuild that sign piece by piece until my fingers are worn to the bone and then bury me underneath when I’m finished, does that sound about right? You are a man of your word John, after all, are you not?” I finished, giggling slightly and waited for his response. He was silent then, and I wondered what his face must have looked like then, whether he was smirking or seething or perhaps even blushing in embarrassment. It was hard to tell how he would react sometimes.

“I am indeed a man of my word,” he sighed melodramatically, “but you don’t have to worry about that anymore, I’ll have it rebuilt at a later date.” He sounded somewhat in acceptance that his sign was no more and I couldn’t help but narrow my eyes towards him. John Seed does not simply accept defeat. “Besides,” he spoke again, this time with a slight purr in his tone, “the yes you’ll give me will be that much sweeter,” his husky tone sent shivers down my spine and I was thankful that he did not notice.

“Indeed,” I replied, settling back into looking out at the valley below.

“I’m infatuated with you my dear,” he confessed then. I paused at that, for it was such a sudden thing to say, and I felt my face heat up considerably. “So enraptured by your beauty, intoxicated by your presence, fascinated by your-”

“Alright Casanova, that’s enough,” I cut him off, trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible. He hummed in thought at that, taking a moment before speaking once more. “Just focus on flying the plane, OK?” John laughed at that but complied with my demand, and we fell back into silence once more, soaring high above Holland Valley.

\-----------------------

I sat in the lounge chair of the bedroom with my legs curled up underneath me as I read the book I was holding intently. John’s room was so spacious that it even had a reading corner with two black velvet lounge chairs with ottomans as well as a round oak table and an oak bookshelf up against the wall. The reading corner hadn’t been here since I had arrived, but it wasn’t until after opening up a little more about me to John, that I had mentioned a love for reading. A few days later he had organised for the furniture and a whole array of books to fill the bookshelf, and it was the first time he had gifted me anything, yet in spite of me imploring him that I do not need any gifts, he persists in his obsessive generosity.

It makes him happy, however, to make me happy and while I do find that endearing, I just wish that he would learn to recognise that I shouldn’t be the one to define his happiness. Sure he needs to know that someone cares about him and that someone is there to receive his love and love him in return – lord knows that he has been deprived of such a simple thing his entire life – but I needed to know that he can be better on his own, rather than try to be better because he wants that recognition or to prove his worth. I needed to know that he can be better for himself.

Whilst my thoughts were drifting to this, my eyes stared blankly at the pages of the book sitting on my lap, completely ignoring the text written there. As I sat buried in my own mind, a pair of hands rested gently on my shoulders, and I had not jumped so high out of surprise in my life that I nearly dropped the book to the floor. An enthusiastic laugh echoed from behind me while I held a hand to my chest, trying to steady my heartbeat, as John came to stand over me with a cheeky grin displayed on his face. His hair was damp from having just come out of the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of pyjama pants, allowing me a full view of his scarred and tattooed torso. 

“John!” I snapped. I cared little for these little antics that he would play, especially when they would nearly cause me to have a heart attack.

“I couldn’t help myself, sweetheart, you just looked like you were in deep thought, and I feared that if I did not pull you from your own mind I would lose you forever,” he spoke in a dramatic tone as if he were rehearsing for a Shakespeare play. 

I wasn’t mad though, not really, but I turned away from him with a huff of frustration, all the same, hoping that he would feel dreadful for his act. 

“Aw, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he cooed, crowding me as he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. “Please don’t be mad at me,” he whispered as his lips brushed against the shell of my ear. 

I kept up my tough exterior though, unwilling to break straight away, to which John only sighed in response and his breath sent tingles down my spine. He was still for only a few seconds before he was suddenly hooking one arm around my back and the other behind my knees and hoisting me up out of the chair.

“What are you doing?” I exclaimed, actually yelping in response, as John spun us both around so that he could sit on the chair with me on his lap. I held the book I was reading against my chest for dear life, fearing that John may drop me on accident, though when we were safely seated he only looked up at me and smiled his usual charming smile and had wrapped his arms around my waist to hold me tight against him. “You’re ridiculous,” I remarked snidely, trying to push myself off his lap, yet he was stronger than he looked and wrapped his arms around me even tighter.

I narrowed my eyes and sharply gazed down into his and he matched my stare easily. We stayed like that for maybe a few seconds, perhaps minutes, though I was not quite sure. It was only after John started trailing light kiss up and down my neck that I had caved in. I giggle lightly when I felt his beard tickle my soft skin.

“OK, OK… that’s enough now,” I sternly announce, taking his face in my hands, leaning down to capture his lips in my own in a soft and slow kiss. Once I pulled away, John seemed to have a look of surprise on his face, his gaze shifting between my eyes and my lips. “What is it?” I ask in concern, fearing I had done something wrong.

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head, “only that is perhaps the first time you kissed me.”

“I did kiss you this morning, remember?” I retorted to which he only scoffed.

“You call that a kiss,” he questioned.

“You’re just upset that I teased you,” I state with a smirk. A chuckle rumbled in the back of his throat when I rested my forehead against his, taking in his fresh scent.

“What are you reading?” he asks, nodding his head towards the book in my lap.

“Greek Mythologies,” I announced, holding it up to show him the cover. He hummed in a way that showed interest.

“Read one to me?” he asked then. I skimmed the pages, looking for something good, and when I landed on one of the pages, a warm smile graced my lips.

“This is one of my favourites. It’s the story of Orpheus and Eurydice.”

“What is it about?”

“It’s a tragic love story,” I simply inform him. He pauses for a second as he considers this before nodding in response.

“I’d love to hear it then,” he encouraged and I happily started to read him the story.

I would watch as his eyes lit up with adoration at the way I told the story. How he would smile when Orpheus and Eurydice were united in marriage, only to protest against Hymen when the God of marriage predicted that their union would not last, and noticed the sad look cross his face when Eurydice perished instantly when bitten by the snake. I the hope that lit up in his eyes when I assured him that Orpheus would venture to the Underworld to save his love was sweet, but the despair that replaced it when Orpheus turned to see if his beloved was truly following to the exit of the Underworld and Eurydice was trapped forever put a sad smile on my face.

“That was it? But he never got to be with her again,” he argued.

“That because he didn’t trust that she was following him,” I explained. John shook his head in disbelief. “John, the story doesn’t end there.”

“What happens next?” he asked with excitement, acting as if he were a child.

“Orpheus tries to return to the Underworld, but since no living mortal was allowed entry twice, he was forced to continue living without his love. So he played his lyre, mourning the loss of Eurydice-”

“This doesn’t seem like a very good ending,” he scoffed, cutting me off, only to yelp as I slapped at his arm.

“Will you let me finish,” I scorned him and he only smiled sheepishly as I went to finish the story. “As Orpheus mourned he called for his death so that he could be with Eurydice forever, and in time he was ultimately killed. The nature of his death is unclear though, but one account tells of the Maenads taking his life, jealous that someone so poetic could never love them in return. And so Orpheus was reunited with Eurydice in the Underworld, where they would walk side by side along the River Styx together,” I concluded, shutting the book softly and placing it in my lap once more. “And that’s the end of the story.”

There were many emotions that seemed to mix into those blue eyes. Confusion, sadness, something adrift, but I couldn’t be too sure, however. He lifted his hand and carded his fingers through my hair, causing me to lean into his touch.

“That was… melancholic,” he murmured.

“It has somewhat of a bittersweet ending though,” I defended.

“I suppose,” he hummed in response and nuzzled into the crook of my neck. “I’ll make sure to always keep you safe,” he murmured into my skin, pressing soft kisses against my pulse point, which I could feel speed up at the touch of his soft lips. “I won’t let anything ever happen to you… I can’t lose you,” he added with desperation, his voice faltering somewhat at the end of his sentence.

I placed one hand against the back of his head and the other at the nape of his neck, resting my head atop his, and I held him against me. I felt his even breath warm against my collarbone, pressing soft kiss every now and then His arms gripped me tightly and pushed our bodies close as if he feared I would vanish if he released me.

“You already make me feel safe, John,” I whispered against his hair. Slowly he pulled back a little to look me in the eyes, and he seemed to glow with euphoria, leaning in to place a tender kiss to my lips.

“And I feel safe with you, my everything,” he answered ardently, bringing a hand up to caress my cheek. My heart fluttered at his words and I couldn’t help the beaming smile that was forming on my lips, which he happily returned. “Mmm, I just remembered something,” he hummed then, reverting back to his usual tone.

“Nothing too bizarre I hope?” I asked, throwing him a questioning gazed.

“I would never my dear,” he returned with a mock look of hurt. He then gestured towards the bed with a flick of his head. “Look under there.”

“Another ‘gift’ is it?” I accused, folding my arms out in front of me.

“You’ll love this one,” he encouraged with a sparkle in his eye. 

Feeling rather curious now, I climb off of John’s lap and head over to the bed, leaning down to take a look underneath, soon spotting a wrapped up packed underneath. I move to pull it out and place it on the bed, looking back at John who seemed rather eager to see me open it, looking impatient when I inspected it for a few short moments before tearing the wrappings apart. As I ran my hand lightly over the object within the package did I slowly realise what it was. I flew a hand up to my mouth to contain the squeal of excitement that nearly ripped through.

“Do you like it?” John asked, getting up to stand next to me. I gazed longingly at the black case, suddenly feeling overwhelmed, and I opened the case to reveal the brand new violin the sat within.

“John…” I started, though I couldn’t form any words, looking back between the violin and him, “I mean… I can’t…”

“You don’t like it,” he said with disappointment, shoulders sagging in defeat. I shook my head vigorously at him as I swung my arms around the back of his neck, latching onto him tightly.

“No… absolutely the opposite. I love it, John… I love it so much. Thank you,” I said in utter delight, repeating the words ‘thank you’ over and over again. John let out an audible sigh as he returned the hug.

“I remembered that story you told me, how you loved to play, how it made you happy. I wanted to make you happy, I wanted to give you back this one joy that was taken from you so long ago,” he spoke and I pulled back slightly to see the look of content in his eyes.

“I didn’t think you’d remember,” I shook my head doubtfully, “thank you,” I said once more. John came to rest his forehead against mine, mumbling a ‘you’re welcome’ under his breath.

Although I was sceptical at first when he presented me with another gift, to me this one was different. I think he realised that this wasn’t just going to be some gift, like a necklace you would give to someone special, though I think that John would gift expensive cars because that was more his style. It was the thought behind it that mattered, although it may seem a little cheesy to say, he really did care.

He was trying. And it showed.

“John, there is something that I want to confess,” I spoke hesitantly in only just above a whisper, though enough so that he could hear. However, before I could say anything more, John shushed me lightly, holding me tighter against him.

“Perhaps another time, little lamb. I just want to stay like this for a little longer.”

“I thought you would be eager to get a confession from me?” I queried. His gaze turned intense then, with a desire I had never seen before, and it drew me in like a moth to a flame.

“You are far more important, sweetheart,” his husky tone spoke as it sent shivers throughout my body, “and besides, I want to be the first to hear you play,” he added as he looked down at the beautifully crafted piece of instrument.

“I’ve not played in quite a while, I may be a little rusty,” I joked, moving to carefully pick up the violin.

“All the more reason to get some practice in,” he suggested, coming up behind me to rest his hands on my shoulders. “Won’t you play a song for me, little lamb?”

\-----------------------

John listened to me play the violin for an hour or so, watching me trying to get back into the swing of playing the instrument that I had not played in years, but I enjoyed every moment of it. Though I don’t think I enjoyed playing it as much as John enjoyed watching, offering kind words of encouragement whenever I would get a note wrong.

I never got to tell John my dark thoughts though, and in some way, I had a feeling that he knew what was troubling me, and saving us from any arguments or heartbreak that night had danced us around the subject. That didn’t deter me from wanting to at least try and reconcile with him. After today, I was begging to trust him fully, but I didn’t want there to be any secrets between us. That is not what I want at all.

Yet just for today, we were content with each other… and that was all that we needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. This is my first fic on this site so I apologise in advance if I make a mistake I'm still trying to figure this site out. These one-shots are supposed to be a sort of a sneak peek at what I am planning, though it is hard to say if I will ever get it done, so in the meantime, this fic will be a thing.


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